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~shotqueensofrhye
We will not let you go! 
Trio of Skullsin Collage 1w 6d ago
Clam Sex: SHENANIGANSChapter 3 Clam Sex: SHENANIGANSClam Sex: SHENANIGANS
*** The time was noon-ish, and three men sat huddled in the corner booth of an unnamed 24 hour diner, which was referred to by its most loyal patrons simply as “The Shop”. Two of the men were among those loyal few, and because of this they would be served breakfast today, even though it was past 11 o’clock.
“Freddie, will-will you, um, will you join me in the, um, in the men’s room, please?” Brian may asked with his usual slight stutter. “It’s...urgent.” His comrades gawked at him- sunken eyed, villainous Mick Rock; and the objec
in Fan Fiction on 8/7/08
Writer Memein Devious Fun on 7/18/08
in Fan Fiction on 7/7/08
Holden Caufield: 1953Holden: Ten Years Later IntroductionHolden Caufield: 1953
When I imagined Holden Caulfield ten years after the Catcher in the Rye takes place, I didn’t want to believe he’d changed much. I thought he would talk pretty similarly, frequently slipping out of his train of thought to offer little side observations and witty remarks. I wanted to show that he still has a somewhat overbearing dislike for “phonies”, though now he shows more motivation to combat the “phonies” as opposed to just complaining about them. I tried to recap what had happened to him since his adventure, but briefly, just picking
in Fan Fiction on 6/27/08
Romantic Woman: Jesus ChristRomantic Woman Magazine: September AD 23 (or 23 CE, if you're not into the lord) Sexy Artisans Of Rome Edition Name: Jesus Christ Occupation: CarpenterRomantic Woman: Jesus Christ
23 year old Jesus Christ, or, as he is oft referred by his friends, "Bad-Ass Ninja Mo-Fo", hails from sunny Nazareth, where he works as a carpenter for his father's business, a charming little shop called Joseph and Son's Salon of Wood Workery.
In addition to being a top notch bandsaw technician, Jesus devotes much of his time to volunteering with local charitable organizations. His favorite job is serving dinners to the homeless at the "For
in Humor on 6/19/08
Fanfiction Writer Memein Devious Fun on 5/28/08
Bad Habits 3Bad Habits Chapter Three: Under PressureBad Habits 3
Chimeara was used to painlessness even after tremendous abuse from the Worm King. It was a lucky unforseen consequence of their contract, and for someone as incompetent as she hated to admit she was, a resistance to injury was imperative. But she desperately wished something would hurt, that some bone would be broken, some organ punctured, some bit of skin torn just enough to sting and let a little blood. It that had happened, it would have been enough for Chimeara to fling herself the rest of the way to death.
She was being prodded. A finger was roughly jab
in Fan Fiction on 5/9/08
in Fan Fiction on 4/28/08
FeminismFeminism: a really cranky review New Moon Chapters 1-3Feminism
My entire being wants me to stop reading "New Moon". It's a terrible book. It's remedially written, it's cliche, it's uninspiring, its only redeeming quality is that it's a quick read. And Bella, the heroine of the novel, is not brave or independent or anything girls should be taught to emulate, but a whiny little bitch with no reason to live. She is vapid, so very uncomfortably vapid, yet I can't put the book down.
But today I think I finally understand the science to her vapid-ness. In being neither beautiful nor particularly interesting, Bella tel
in Reviews on 4/7/08
Bad Habits 2Bad Habits Chapter Two: Three LegsBad Habits 2
Several years prior to anything of importance, King Annelida of the Worm People became ruler of the demon world, and though the Worm People were known to be shrewd and aggressive, exactly how their king came to power-a feat he accomplished in just two days- would not be a proud moment for their history books. King Annelida was a brilliant military leader, but no soldiers marched on the Demon City; and he might have been a charismatic diplomat, but he never spoke a word. King Annelida was unforgivably ugly, even for one of his kind, and it sometimes made one physically ill just to gl
in Fan Fiction on 4/3/08
Bad Habits 1Bad Habits Chapter One: RealityBad Habits 1
As Roger Taylor trudged across the final stretch of God’s forsaken land in the direction of Anywhere But Here, he felt an icy pang of guilt surge up and down his back. As much as he hated to admit it, he’d mis this, he thought, scanning the bleak horizon towards which he walked. He’d miss the unrelenting danger, the poisonous stings, the burns, the bits, the sleep deprivation, the feeling of such hunger he’d steal the eggs of creatures that shouldn’t have even been allowed to reproduce. With such a list of perks, Roger couldn’t fathom why anyone would opt
in Fan Fiction on 3/20/08
Dragon AttackDragon AttackDragon Attack
This was the biggest night of Landish Invasion’s life, and would probably be topped only by her birth 17 years ago. She had anticipated this night for months, growing giddier and giddier with each “x” she drew on the calendar. Tonight Queen were coming to town.
Landish was lucky to be one of the herd of summer interns for the man who organized events at the arena. He was a decent enough boss, and prone to giving out tickets at random to the hardest workers, when he saw they were excited about some upcoming concert or ribbon-dancing exhibition. Landish was the youngest of the intern
in Fan Fiction on 3/6/08
My Kid and Her Special Friendin People on 2/28/08
80: WordsPersian Holiday80: Words
My favorite word in the world is 'Persian', sometimes 'Persia' if I'm feeling nitpicky, but always the word indicating Iranian heritage-ness. 'Iranian' isn't nearly as likeable or liked at all, too much ambiguity in pronunciation.
Freddie Mercury was a Persian, so straight out the gate I know they are a people predisposed to be charming, clever, and more or less friendly. They are invariably good-looking with smooth flawless foreheads, and no matter what country they call home, they have rhythmic, intuitive, gropable accents that make you want to eat their lips.
In Saki's short sto
in Essays on 2/17/08
81: Pen and PaperManifesto81: Pen and Paper
As of late, I find myself forced at an alarming rate by my peers and my mother and my cousin to decide what the hell I'm going to do with my life, and writing just isn't acceptable for them. Why am I not surprised. It's easy to tell if someone has visual art chops, or dancing chops, or singing chops- just make him do a still life sketch, or a step ball change, or a C scale. But writers, aren't we the laziest and most pretentious of the bunch.
The thing is about writers, we're not like singers, painters, dancers. The act of writing in itself is not a pleasant thing to do, and the people who enjoy it p
in General Non-Fiction on 2/17/08
Ragedeath the Skeletalin Collage on 2/11/08
Introduction of RagedeathIntroduction of Ragedeath the Skeletal (Large black man's solo)Introduction of Ragedeath
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the executive of your doom the gatekeeper of Heaven the angel of Hell Nationally reviled object of all postprandial dialogue with a killer sense of style Ragedeath the Skeletal and her ubiquitous somniferous sweet Jesus, deliver us the crampy, the creepy the slinky, the sneaky the harbingers of fear the Wicked Children from the Deathsphere
in Song on 2/11/08
A Gay MarriageA Gay MarriageA Gay Marriage
Fred. Dear, stupid, lumbering Fred. I've always known monogamy to be unhealthy, but for some reason, when I met Fred, I decided to change my mind. It was at Starbucks, and he was quite the charmer-most men are at the start of a relationship- we talked for hours, and we had so much in common, and from then on we were pretty much inseparable.
We've been legit five years now. I knew marriage was a bad idea, but the ring was fabulous, and the restaurant was crowded, and I was caught up in the moment. I mean, there was an enormous, cranky, full-grown man on his knees, nervous as a puppy, because of me! &nbs
in Married on 2/8/08
...Homophobia?...Homophobia?...Homophobia?
A couple of dudes jamming on the piano-forte looks very peculiar but it's okay-it's not gay
Not to say gay
things are uncool or anything Project Runway and To Wong Fu are fine by me
But seriously- two dudes, piano forte? a bit queer, methinks
in Open on 1/18/08
Too Young To Diein Portraits & Figures on 1/17/08
86: Seeing RedThe Vegans are Coming from Scene 6 "Funemployed"86: Seeing Red
I rushed to the bathroom and paused for a moment just outside the craked door. Sceams of unbridled torture echoed from within. I turned and stared nervously down the hall at Fred, who was sweating bullets and trapped in his seat between the dinner table and the wall. Biting my lip, I pressed my palm to the door and swung it open.
I managed not to scream, and convinced myself it was out of shock, but really the reason I only gasped melodramatically was because I saw exactly what, in the back of my head, I had been expecting. Mr. Cunningham was stooped on th
in General Fiction on 1/15/08
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